Spoils of Engagement

Guardians and their sidekicks must be fully in compliance with the rules and regulations regarding the taking of spoils of any kind. The bottom line is, no, you may not. Guardian Command does not care if the item in question is large or small; the same punishment will be meted out to those who attempt to remove anything from a newly safe guarded world.

Please note that this includes the military uniforms of the recently liberated planet Cafos 4.For those not acquainted with these sartorial masterpieces, they are not only the most visually commanding uniforms in the Galaxy but are enhanced with derivative pheronomes that make the wearer irresistable to over 4,000 species. For security reasons alone, these uniforms are utterly forbidden.

Not really part of the Kyle universe, but...

... a (hopefully) amusing sketch done on a rainy Sunday morning. This is the same mesh used for Kyle, but pushed and prodded in a few new directions. And obviously, a ton of post work — some pretty blatant, some pretty subtle. I suppose one could consider this a portrait of Kyle's great-to-the-tenth-power ancestor.

Encountering Alien Lifeforms (2)

Guardians should also understand that certain life forms — indeed, entire worlds — have modes of expression that we may find not only bewildering but potentially physically harmful. As such, preparation is vital. For example, the entire planet of RnHSoMu, where not only are the hills alive but so is just about everything else. Communications consist of what initially appears to be overlapping, non-stop streams of painfully loud and inordinately inane cocktail party chatter — and yet on closer inspection (assuming of course that one has not been driven completely insane), it is an extremely subtle mode of musical expression and verbal information. That which superficially sounds like a vacuous description of a "simply mad cruise we took last week" is instead a deeply considered discussion on the place of philosophy in an otherwise uncaring universe.

New Wallpaper

Click to enlarge for a 1280 x 800 version.

Encountering Alien Lifeforms

Your duties as Guardian will, of course, require you to make contact with alien lifeforms. Proceed carefully. Remember that on their world, you are the alien. Do not take this personally: they are simply applying generalizations to allow them to understand you better. Do not be offended when they comment on your hair, your clothing, or the colour of your skin. Do not be upset if they appear species-ist and make what might be construed as disparaging remarks about your sexual techniques. Such attitudes are common across the galaxy.

However, there are certain life forms that must be met with all due caution and personal safety in mind. The Chinderoos, for example, of the Faunty region — never look directly at their wide, button-like eyes. Avoid all physical contact with their plush, velour-like fur. Their terminal cuteness is their sole weapon and will turn an enemy's brain to the texture of rotting gluten-based oatmeal within seconds of first contact.