Vacations and Time Off

Guardian Central is well aware that both Guardians and their sidekicks will suffer from professional fatigue and will require a certain amount of time off duty. Find an activity you both enjoy, such as camping or visits to one of the many beaches that dot the worlds of the galaxy. Incorporate some form of physical exercise, such as swimming or climbing, to keep your physical capabilities up to acceptable Guardian level. We also highly recommend that Guardians and sidekicks put this time to good use by getting to know each other better in a non-professional capacity. Share your personal interests: seemingly mundane information may prove useful someday in dealing with matters at hand.

Bills

Guardians should, of course, be aware that costs for maintenance and upkeep of a galaxy-wide operation are subject to occasional increases which we must, unfortunately, pass along to you. As such, plan your budgets accordingly. Yes, we know that no one likes to pay these petty, minor increases in, say, health care insurance — even for injury-resistant beings such as yourselves — but these increases are necessary. After all, a healthy corps is a happy corps!

Blaster practice

Okay, this is what happens when you get a tad carried away with post work...

Click through to a 1280x800 version.

Spoils of Engagement

Guardians and their sidekicks must be fully in compliance with the rules and regulations regarding the taking of spoils of any kind. The bottom line is, no, you may not. Guardian Command does not care if the item in question is large or small; the same punishment will be meted out to those who attempt to remove anything from a newly safe guarded world.

Please note that this includes the military uniforms of the recently liberated planet Cafos 4.For those not acquainted with these sartorial masterpieces, they are not only the most visually commanding uniforms in the Galaxy but are enhanced with derivative pheronomes that make the wearer irresistable to over 4,000 species. For security reasons alone, these uniforms are utterly forbidden.

Not really part of the Kyle universe, but...

... a (hopefully) amusing sketch done on a rainy Sunday morning. This is the same mesh used for Kyle, but pushed and prodded in a few new directions. And obviously, a ton of post work — some pretty blatant, some pretty subtle. I suppose one could consider this a portrait of Kyle's great-to-the-tenth-power ancestor.

Encountering Alien Lifeforms (2)

Guardians should also understand that certain life forms — indeed, entire worlds — have modes of expression that we may find not only bewildering but potentially physically harmful. As such, preparation is vital. For example, the entire planet of RnHSoMu, where not only are the hills alive but so is just about everything else. Communications consist of what initially appears to be overlapping, non-stop streams of painfully loud and inordinately inane cocktail party chatter — and yet on closer inspection (assuming of course that one has not been driven completely insane), it is an extremely subtle mode of musical expression and verbal information. That which superficially sounds like a vacuous description of a "simply mad cruise we took last week" is instead a deeply considered discussion on the place of philosophy in an otherwise uncaring universe.

New Wallpaper

Click to enlarge for a 1280 x 800 version.

Encountering Alien Lifeforms

Your duties as Guardian will, of course, require you to make contact with alien lifeforms. Proceed carefully. Remember that on their world, you are the alien. Do not take this personally: they are simply applying generalizations to allow them to understand you better. Do not be offended when they comment on your hair, your clothing, or the colour of your skin. Do not be upset if they appear species-ist and make what might be construed as disparaging remarks about your sexual techniques. Such attitudes are common across the galaxy.

However, there are certain life forms that must be met with all due caution and personal safety in mind. The Chinderoos, for example, of the Faunty region — never look directly at their wide, button-like eyes. Avoid all physical contact with their plush, velour-like fur. Their terminal cuteness is their sole weapon and will turn an enemy's brain to the texture of rotting gluten-based oatmeal within seconds of first contact.

Allowances

We realize that while Guardians may be impervious to pain or injury, their uniforms are not. As such, the Galactic Guardianship permits each Guardian a certain amount for uniform replacement each year, provided of course that the replacement is due to either wear or accidential destruction.

It has come to our attention that some members of the Guardianship have abused this privilege, and we have therefore found it necessary to withhold replacement payments without submission of proof that the previous uniform was indeed made unusable, To simply say one "saw it in the window and had to have it" will no longer suffice.

At the end of the day, sidekicks should always remember...

... that you are there to watch your Guardian's back. Do your job well, and he will cover yours in return.

Emergency Situations

If you discover your craft has suddenly and abruptly run out of neutronium while going down some star-lit road of the universe, do not panic, Guardian. Simply inform you have run out of gas. You will then say that you will contact roadside assistance and that the two of you can expect a wait of a few hours. In the interim, keep your sidekick calm. Engage him (or her) in light conversation. Point out the wonders of the universe. Find ways of keeping yourselves amused — remember: help is always at hand!

Minions.

Just as you have a sidekick, so will your arch-villain have a minion. Eventually these two will meet and, you hope, begin the Journey of Life together as sworn enemies. Cherish this moment, Guardian, for it is as important to your sidekick's future development as your first encounter with your arch-villain was to you. Remember: there is only one first time, and, as any Guardian would, you no doubt want your sidekick's first time to be a happy experience.

It is imperative that you and your arch-villain not overplan the encounter. Let it happen naturally. Do not, as the poet would say, "bring impediment to these two souls". Let the sidekick and minion bond as you and your arch-villain have bonded and let it be a moment that your sidekick will look back on in fond memory.

The function of a sidekick.

Yes, Guardian, there will be times when you wonder what the function of a sidekick might be. Without superpowers which makes him (or her) essentially defenceless and without your advanced mental functions which makes him (or her) at about the same reasoning state as a large labrador retriever, you may ask yourself why you have taken him (or her) on as such a responsibility, that perhaps your job — indeed, your life — might be simpler without him (or her), thus allowing you to perform more efficiently.

No, Guardian, the sidekick is also there to remind you that you are bound by nature to protect all lifeforms from harm. So protect him (or her) well. Keep him (or her) close. And you will find that the rewards to that end make all else tolerable.

Focus.

At some point, you will bring your new sidekick for his first visit to Guardian Headquarters. He will no doubt be awe-struck by the sights, the sounds, and the smells of this majestic complex. But do not allow him too far off the leash. Look upon this as an opportunity to teach your sidekick the importance of focus, of keeping his thoughts strictly on the matter at hand, and of allowing no distractions to intercede.

Self defence...

... is not only a matter of re-directed power but proper visual presentation as well. It is imperative to teach new sidekicks that one must always look *smashing* when one is about to blast one's opponent into the next solar system.

Kyle in a Pensive Mood wallpaper

 1280 x 800 for your widescreen laptops (although it sits rather nicely on larger monitors as well)

Maintenance.

It is imperative that new sidekicks understand the vital importance of teamwork and ship maintenance... even if it inexplicably involves fixing the same wiring problem four or five times a week...

Armor.

Armoring the non-super-powered sidekick can be a tricky proposition. One has to balance necessary effectiveness against necessary weight so as not to put the sidekick into difficult situations: it may help him withstand the shockwaves of a class-6 atomic blast, but if it knocks him to the floor and he cant get up, he's of little use to you.

When out on the town...

... Interstellar Guardians must always be aware.You may not have ready access to backup; as such, watch your back. Attack could come at any moment, from an invading alien force, anti-government rebels, or irate, vindictive ex-boyfriends.

Transporters...

... must always be thoroughly tested before use. A good superhero doesnt want things (weaponry, shipment crates, select parts of uniforms) to go missing in the ether.

Ancient technology...

... in which Kyle, rummaging through stuff from his great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather George (the one who, as theory holds, actually invented space travel) and discovers a balsa wood stick that sheathes an alloy-made fencing sword. Conceivably, the very first light saber...

Bio-based weaponry...

... should always be properly tested, under strictly controlled conditions.

Measurements for uniform fittings...

... must be made extremely accurately. One never wants one's uniform to sag.

"I dont understand, Stanley..."

It is sometimes difficult to understand, let alone accept, the concept of a Final Conflict when it's happening for the third night this week. It's enough to give one an Ultimate Crisis.

It was indeed a simpler time...

... when aviators ruled the skies and rolled-up burning leaves were fashionable (until they made you sick and you threw up and it all got pretty disgusting and your shipmates thought it hysterical and you lost all sense of command...)

"Is it me? Be honest!"

One of those moments that can ruin a perfectly good relationship: being honest about your partner's wardrobe choices...

"Dont hate me..."

"... because I'm beautiful." Kyle's somewhat self-absorbed sidekick Louis, in a particularly common position.

So much baggage...

... required to make one look good when saving the universe.

A couple of wallpapers to get us started

First, the Men of Kyle Cameron / Style Fashionista: our boy Kyle ("Ten minutes with me, and you'll know a man can fly."), his... uhm... sidekick Louis ("I'm an applied arts major!"), and their arch-nemesis Malevolio ("I'd destroy the known universe for you, baby...")

Then, one of Kyle and Malevolio's perpetually pitched battles to save — or, as the case may be, destroy — the known universe. Like most superhero battles, these usually end in a draw so they can withdraw and fight another day. And another. And another. And maybe one more after that...

 

Click through for a 1280x800 version of both images.

"This is another fine mess...

"... you've gotten me into, Stanley."

Welcome to the world of Kyle Cameron, Science Fashionista — savior of the universe and lookin' good doin' it. Accompanied by his faithful companion Stanley, Kyle wanders the galaxy in search of fame, adventure, and smokin' hot threads... not to mention smokin' hot men.

This will be an image-only blog. If there's a story, you'll provide it. The whole thing is a bit of an experiment in portraiture more than anything else, a way to see if I can nuance a character presentation through nothing more than visuals.

There are other characters besides Kyle and Stanley: for example, Malevolio, Kyle's arch-enemy (and occasional bed partner), Louis, Kyle's sidekick companion (and occasional bed partner), and the usual ugly aliens who seek to destroy Kyle (mostly for not getting to be his occasional bed partner). Hopefully, this will be a lot of fun all around.