Allowances

We realize that while Guardians may be impervious to pain or injury, their uniforms are not. As such, the Galactic Guardianship permits each Guardian a certain amount for uniform replacement each year, provided of course that the replacement is due to either wear or accidential destruction.

It has come to our attention that some members of the Guardianship have abused this privilege, and we have therefore found it necessary to withhold replacement payments without submission of proof that the previous uniform was indeed made unusable, To simply say one "saw it in the window and had to have it" will no longer suffice.

At the end of the day, sidekicks should always remember...

... that you are there to watch your Guardian's back. Do your job well, and he will cover yours in return.

Emergency Situations

If you discover your craft has suddenly and abruptly run out of neutronium while going down some star-lit road of the universe, do not panic, Guardian. Simply inform you have run out of gas. You will then say that you will contact roadside assistance and that the two of you can expect a wait of a few hours. In the interim, keep your sidekick calm. Engage him (or her) in light conversation. Point out the wonders of the universe. Find ways of keeping yourselves amused — remember: help is always at hand!

Minions.

Just as you have a sidekick, so will your arch-villain have a minion. Eventually these two will meet and, you hope, begin the Journey of Life together as sworn enemies. Cherish this moment, Guardian, for it is as important to your sidekick's future development as your first encounter with your arch-villain was to you. Remember: there is only one first time, and, as any Guardian would, you no doubt want your sidekick's first time to be a happy experience.

It is imperative that you and your arch-villain not overplan the encounter. Let it happen naturally. Do not, as the poet would say, "bring impediment to these two souls". Let the sidekick and minion bond as you and your arch-villain have bonded and let it be a moment that your sidekick will look back on in fond memory.

The function of a sidekick.

Yes, Guardian, there will be times when you wonder what the function of a sidekick might be. Without superpowers which makes him (or her) essentially defenceless and without your advanced mental functions which makes him (or her) at about the same reasoning state as a large labrador retriever, you may ask yourself why you have taken him (or her) on as such a responsibility, that perhaps your job — indeed, your life — might be simpler without him (or her), thus allowing you to perform more efficiently.

No, Guardian, the sidekick is also there to remind you that you are bound by nature to protect all lifeforms from harm. So protect him (or her) well. Keep him (or her) close. And you will find that the rewards to that end make all else tolerable.

Focus.

At some point, you will bring your new sidekick for his first visit to Guardian Headquarters. He will no doubt be awe-struck by the sights, the sounds, and the smells of this majestic complex. But do not allow him too far off the leash. Look upon this as an opportunity to teach your sidekick the importance of focus, of keeping his thoughts strictly on the matter at hand, and of allowing no distractions to intercede.

Self defence...

... is not only a matter of re-directed power but proper visual presentation as well. It is imperative to teach new sidekicks that one must always look *smashing* when one is about to blast one's opponent into the next solar system.

Kyle in a Pensive Mood wallpaper

 1280 x 800 for your widescreen laptops (although it sits rather nicely on larger monitors as well)

Maintenance.

It is imperative that new sidekicks understand the vital importance of teamwork and ship maintenance... even if it inexplicably involves fixing the same wiring problem four or five times a week...

Armor.

Armoring the non-super-powered sidekick can be a tricky proposition. One has to balance necessary effectiveness against necessary weight so as not to put the sidekick into difficult situations: it may help him withstand the shockwaves of a class-6 atomic blast, but if it knocks him to the floor and he cant get up, he's of little use to you.